Finding a good man can be a struggle for a lot of guys. You have to figure out where to meet them, how to approach them, and then how to gain and keep their attraction. For people that don't naturally have good social skills, it can be like solving a puzzle. Luckily, there are techniques you can use and things you can do to not only get a man but maintain a strong and healthy relationship for the long run.
One: Turn off your Grindr profile before the date begins, even if that’s where you found him. That little “pop” sound while you give him flowers is a romantic buzz kill.
Two: You’re “Checking In” at the restaurant where you’ve made dinner reservations? Seriously? Nothing like telling 5,000 Facebook friends the location of your intimate rendezvous.
Three: Do not “friend” your date on Facebook before or after the initial meeting. If you’re not a good match (and dates are like new restaurants; about one in eight survive), you’re both going to share that awkward moment of “Do I un-friend him or keep reading about his ‘Why do I always meet losers?’” updates.
Four: Even though gay men love to label everyone, they despise being labeled. So whether he’s a Bear, Twink, Twunk, Cub, Daddy, Dilf, Otter, Chub, Gym Rat, Gym Bunny, or any of the other zillion names we give one another, only address him in generic terms, like handsome, sexy, hung. If he’s 22 years old and wears glasses and weighs 108 pounds and says “for some reason people tend to think I’m a Twink,” feign surprise and say “men are so into labels.” Then help him lift his martini glass to his lips and move on.
Five: If you’re over thirty and at least four years older than your date, don’t be surprised if he calls you Daddy. Take it as a compliment; do not take it as a reason to pick up the check.
Six: Unless he can juggle or tap dance in bed, “versatile bottom” means only one thing, so be prepared to take charge if things go well. If you’re lying when you call yourself a “versatile top,” either call it quits now or start working on your oral communication skills.
Seven: If he insists on taking “important calls” several times during your date, don’t automatically think he’s blowing you off. In today’s complicated world, he might be calling work, his sitter, or his ex-wife to see if she can pick up the kids. Chill out, and use the time to call your sponsor for encouragement.
Eight: In the old days, it was common, and common sense, to say that, if you sleep with someone, you are also sleeping with everyone he’s slept with. Nowadays, it’s common sense to remember that, if you sleep with someone who’s in a 12-Step program, you are also sleeping with everyone in his Home Group. Be prepared to be judged by all the members of the orgy.
Nine: If you’ve met the guy online and have never met in person, and if his entire chat so far has been about how amazingly hot you are and how amazingly much he’s into you and how he’s quite certain you’re the guy for him, he will hate you within 20 minutes of your date and you will never hear from him again. If you request an explanation, he will call you a stalker and block you from any social media sites you might share.
Ten: While it’s nice to have a grasp of current events and knowledge of local culture, it’s no longer a first-date pre-requisite. However, if you don’t have an immediate answer for “Do you want to get married?” and “How many kids would you like to have?” the date has just ended; don’t even bother to take your coat off.
Eleven: Contrary to popular belief, opinions are not like assholes, because in today’s gay world, assholes are glorious and sexy and displayed prominently in photos sent to you from potential suitors. Opinions on a date are more like your lesbian best friend: We know she’s important to you and we’re glad you have her, but we have no idea why you’d want to introduce us to her on a first meeting and turn the evening into a serious downer.
Twelve: If you do opt to discuss current events, avoid anything so controversial it will destroy potential chemistry, like Crimea, Obama’s job performance, or the relevance of HBO’s “Looking.”
Thirteen: Fashions change, so know the basics: No flip-flops, no shaving, and, even if it is after Memorial Day, absolutely no white underwear.
Fourteen: If you like the guy and want things to go well, put everything out on the table: HIV status, views on monogamy, and, for Florida residents, guns.
Fifteen: It’s a sign of a true gentleman if you walk him to his door and he says it’s too soon for you to come inside. It’s also more than likely a sign that he still lives with his on-again off-again ex.
Sixteen: If, in the heat of the moment, you do find yourself in bed together after the date, remember to keep the foreplay going for at least 30 minutes. This allows ample time for intimate kisses, exploring each other’s body, and for the Cialis to kick in.
Seventeen: NEVER, NEVER EVER date a guy you know from instagram.
We all know on Instagram are the hottest gay guys, BUT most of them are fuckboys.
So if you are really looking for a serious relationship, go outside, use dating apps but not instagram or other plattforms like that. Believe me it will save your ass from a lot of shit.
Eighteen: Think of the typical 'Roles' in a gay relationship.
Yes I know it sound kinda old fashioned and really mean, but everyone can agree, there are these two 'roles' in a gay relationship 'active' and 'passive' or 'top' and 'bottom', so when you are a bottom look for a top and not for the hot guy you just saw on tinder, who is definitely a bottom as well otherwise it gets awkward later.
There is this other type, which is called 'verse' that mean you can be both - top or bottom doesn't matter.
As a verse DO NOT date a bottom or as a bottom better look for a 'more top- verse' otherwise it will get awkward as well, trust me.
Nineteen: Reminder Guys with a 'history' don't change for you.
That might be a beautiful mind frame: 'oh I know he's been a hoe, but I can change him.. He promised me'
THIS is always a lie. Once a hoe, deep down always a hoe.. Its not that he don't love you, but there is this other sexy guy out there and in one second you are replaced and your heart is broken.
Twenty: Before you meet your crush make sure that both know on which level you are meeting.
When he thinks you guys are meeting just for fun, as friends, but you think its a date, its going to get really awkward.
To avoid a situation like that, make clear on which level you want to meet him by saying for example: 'So when is our Date next week?' if he responses positively you know he wants to date you as well, if he don't, you're in the friend zone.
Twenty one: NEVER KISS ON THE FIRST DATE, OR MORE.
I know that may sound old fashion, but believe me.. as soon as you kiss on the first date, things go further and then you know its not going to end in a serious relationship.. you have to know each other well before you share such an intime moment like a kiss with each other.. after the fourth or fifth and sometimes after the third date it is ok to kiss,but only when both are ok with it..
Twenty two: Date AT LEAST two month before you move on to the next step.
To have a really successful relationship you have to know each other and trust each other..
So before you move on to a serious relationship, date him a least two month, so you know how he reacts to certain situations and how he behaves.. and everyone knows, these cute little after one week relationships won't last long. And we don't want that.
Twenty three: Avoid long-distance relationships.
Long-distance relationships are frustrating, expensive and slowly destroy your heart.
You get jealous, he gets jealous, you're arguing on WhatsApp its hard to understand things right and often times situations get worse.. so when you date someone, who lives far away from you, better keep on dating until you live closer, because that will save you from a lot of overthinking and from many sleepless nights.
Twenty four: Don't post pictures of you and your Boyfriend on instagram.
Yes I know you guys are too cute and stuff and everyone should see how happy you are, but keep in mind the gay community on instagram is mean and shady as fuck. Everyone begrudges everyone else.. and when they see a picture of you and your cute boyfriend they are jealous and do everything to destroy your relationship, trust me they try EVERYTHING.. you can either make your account private or just don't upload pictures, which clearly identify you guys as a couple.. and TRUST your partner, when he says that he is loyal, believe him, but always keep and eye open.
Twenty five: Don't try to date someone after you met him as friends.
We all love our friend but please do yourself and your friend a favour and DO NOT try to date them AFTER your met them as friends or you've been friends for a long time.. because when you break up you loose a friend as well and keep it real friendship is so much more important and precious as a relationship.
Twenty six: When you're underage especially around 18-17 I would recommend never to date someone who is younger than you.. at that time you normally need to find yourself and you need someone who helps you with that and when you date someone who is 16.. he can not help and support you, because he also need to find himself first.
Twenty seven: Sadly, gay men are self-centered and narcissistic, so instead of talking about your abusive childhood upbringing and triumph over Legionnaires disease, read this piece over and over and out loud until I’m so happy I wet myself. We’re a match!
Twenty eight: When you are texting a guy and he is not replying for hours, he is busy and PLEASE do not bother him with double texting and wait till he answers you.
When a guy is not replying for days, he is definitely not interested in your or in talking to you.
Accept that and DO NOT ask him to apologisseor double text him.
NEVER EVER DOUPLE TEXT SOMEONE accept it happens within two or less seconds!!!!
Twenty nine: DONT CALL SOMEONE A HOE, WHO YOU WERE JUST OBSESSED WITH A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO, GROW UP
